Toothpaste!

No kidding this time. You’ve waited long enough.

It’s time to find out the answer to a question older than time itself: What is ‘Operation Toothpaste’?

First of all, toothpaste is (according to Wikipedia, I take no credit) a ‘paste or gel dentifrice used with a toothbrush as an accessory to clean and maintain the aesthetics and health of teeth’.

Aesthetics?! Since when have teeth alone been beautiful? I mean, a smile is nice and everything, but does it really have aesthetics? And what on earth is ‘gel dentifrice’? (Feel free to look it up and tell me in the comments).

But this is beside the point. Operation Toothpaste is a feature where I will explain an aspect of my life, however mundane, once a week. Hopefully what this means is that you’ll get a better picture of who I am, and those of you who tune in regularly will find it more rewarding as… I don’t know. I’ll become more human in your minds eye.

Not to say I’m a robot. o_O Wow, that would be awkward. My confession post would be called Coming Out, Guess What? I’m a Robot or something similarly cheesy. But seriously. I’m not. I am also just a kid in secondary school, so don’t expect me to be talking about my car, or complaining about my mortgage.

As I said, this could go either way with you guys. In advance, when I say ‘however mundane’, I’m not going to talk about how many carpets there are in my living room or whatever. It’s  a bit of a risk, and is more of an experiment than anything else.

Unlike Tech Battles, which I post when I feel like it, I hope for this one to be regular, perhaps once a week on a Saturday (not today, I can’t be bothered). As for why the feature is called ‘Operation Toothpaste’, it is something of a mundane story. Literally, it’s not a page-turner. If you really want to brave it, check the About page in the coming weeks, which I’ll be updating in a number of ways.

Apologies if you were expecting a proper post, this was more of a blog report. Check back next Saturday for Operation Toothpaste – if you dare.

Joe.

Sports Day (and Toothpaste revealed)!

Why wasn’t this on the Coming Soon section? Why have you had no warning?

I don’t know. To be honest, I completely forgot Sports Day was happening until Friday. ;)

Background information (skip this if you want to, or if you’re from my school)

My school has four houses (like Hogwarts). For now, let’s call them Draco, Snape, Harry, and Potter. These compete in the House Cup (again, like Hogwarts). I myself am in Potter. Every now and then we attempt to match each house with it’s Harry Potter equivalent, and Potter is often compared to Slytherin because of its competitiveness. -_- I mean, no offence to Slytherin, but I consider Potter as more of a Ravenclaw house. But of course this changes from year to year.

But I’m getting ahead of myself…
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The Art Salesman’s Handiwork Revealed in it’s Full Glory: Part III

Hehe… it may amuse you to know that, as Deathly Hallows: Part II has the (joint) longest title of the series but is also quite short, the same applies here. Just in advance, in case any of you were hoping for a blow-by-blow account of how we chose where to put the paintings, taking into consideration the layout of the house, the position of the electrical sockets and the aesthetic effect of the frames against the objects in the rooms – because that would end up being really boring. So that’s not going to happen, for the sake of keeping any readers I have – and keeping me awake.

TASHRIIFG movie poster
Here goes…

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Return of the Art Salesman: Part II

So this has been a long time coming. In fact, this happened a fortnight ago. I suppose that’s not too long – but it’s long enough than many of you might not have read The Art Salesman: Part I, or be aware of the upcoming sequel, The Art Salesman’s Handiwork Revealed In It’s Full Glory: Part III (or TASHRIIFG).

But how can you milk so much out of buying a painting, framing it, and displaying it? Trust me, it’s a gift. ;)
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France (the actual trip!)

Lovely anonymous French town…

So we went to France. I won’t tell you where exactly, but if you can be bothered, work it out from the pic.

So what happened on the journey (if you haven’t read the previous post, click the link)? Ah yes… a feud that has yet to be resolved (still time to vote people!) , a banana split, and not very souveniry souvenirs.

And the Harlem Shake. But that’s irrelevant.

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Thanks Guys!

I now have five followers! I would like to thank Opinionated Man, libbyisawkward, Aliyaaaa, juliansherman, and of course, myself. I’m not entirely sure why you subscribed, but thank you.

In particular I would like to thank my first follower, technophile9, who has supported this blog to fruition. (WordPress subscribed me to myself automatically, and I didn’t have the heart to unfollow. That makes me sound really sad).

Thank you.

Joe.

Father’s Day (in a family of six)

“How many did I do?” my dad asked at the end of a one minute skipping session that my second youngest sister had been timing.

“20, but if you count the ones were you just put one foot over the skipping rope at a time, you had 25. Do you want me to count those?”

Trust me, it’s funnier when it happens in real life. Especially as it happened on Father’s Day.

***

We would wake him up with flowers and a breakfast in bed – but we needed everyone. The oldest sister of three was in the toilet, and the youngest sister was pestering her to get out quickly. We handed her a flower we had picked from the garden, and she got behind me. We were in a line from oldest to youngest, with Mum at the rear and ‘youngest sister’ at the front. She and ‘second youngest sister’ knocked on the door, and when they got no reply, knocked again.

My mum told them to just go in, so they theatrically opened the door, an awkward procession that woke my dad up groggily. We gave him the flowers first, with ‘youngest sister’ screeching, “TAKE IT!” and us telling her to calm down. Dad grinned, and invited us to join him.

‘Second youngest sister’ took him too literally, and half belly-flopped onto the bed, making the tea in the breakfast tray spill.

My mum quickly said she would get a tissue, but Dad declined, saying the soggy bacon (and honey) toast would remind him of the fun we have. Or something along those lines.

We still haven’t given him the cards.

Joe.

(Happy Father’s Day).

Where do I start?

I have a lot to get off my chest.

I have just broken free from the endless monotony of exams and revision.

It blinded me. It scarred me. It scared me…

LOL, JK. (I hope Aliyaaaa from Three Magical doesn’t mind my use of her work. :3) But it was still pretty scary. I guess you want a run-by-run of how my exams went. If I was really stressed about them, I would hate having to relive it again, but to be honest, most of them went OK. o_O Does that make me sound like a bad person, by saying my exams were bearable, that I didn’t cry myself to sleep every night?

If you’re looking for a sob story, you’re not going to find it here. But you may still want some hankies… You know. Just in case. *Sniffles*.  Ok, here goes…
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