A plea to the royal baby

So, Kate Middleton has just gone into labour at the time of writing. The royal baby is patiently sitting in the womb, taking it’s own time, unaware that people are betting on his/her weight, hair colour, and name.

Jeez guys, give the baby a break. Maybe if she/he wasn’t so pressurised, he/she would come out sooner…

Let’s get this straight. Not knowing the baby’s gender makes it hard to write about him/her, so from now on, I’m just going to refer to the baby as ‘he’ – even if ‘he’ turns out to be a girl. Got it? No offence taken? Ok, let’s carry on then.

What you may not know is that it is also my older sister’s birthday. Her sixteenth to be precise. Sixteen years waiting for a royal baby to have the same birthday as her… and now. Finally. Her wish has been granted.

Me: So please baby – take your time, but don’t stay in their for another day. It’s painful for Kate, and it’s disappointing for my sister.


Joe. (I’m betting it will be born with a monocle and a top hat. No one believes me…)