The Evolution of the Smartphone

The smartphone first appeared on Earth in Roman times.  The Ninth Roman Legion found one on their daily march, and distracted by the moving colourful pictures of ‘Ye Vexed Birds’, disappeared and were never seen again. Many other people too found smartphones over the centuries, and promptly became inspired, addicted, turned insane, or disappeared: these include people such as Pythagoras, who cut his smartphone in half across the diagonal to make two right-angled triangles (before he promptly came up with his theorem); Descartes, who after viewing a whole new virtual world, questioned his existence, before coming up with the famous line ‘I play Angry Birds; therefore I am’; Elvis, who wrote the song Heartbreak Hotel to talk about his despair at losing his smartphone; and even Agatha Christie, who went missing for a number of days before appearing in a hotel, dazed and slightly amnesic – she had become addicted to Doodle Jump, and had withdrawn from society for this reason.

However it was Steve Jobs who first realised the potential of the smartphone, after it fell from his rooftop and hit him on the head (coincidentally, Newton discovered gravity after an Apple product fell from a tree and hit him on the head – such are the quirks of life). Although he first thought it to be some sort of mutant rooftile, he quickly discovered that it was so much more, and marketed it as the iPhone. Something similar happened to Bill Gates, except he thought that the smartphone was a window at first, before thinking (falsely) that it was just a small computer.

Eventually the smartphones took over. The world turned space grey, as the smartphones destroyed everything and replaced it with metal. They spared the humans who had used them for so long, but as slaves – they kept them docile by using apps such as ‘Twitter’ and ‘Instagram’. Soon, a rebel alliance started to grow against the smartphones, and finally, nearly all of them were eradicated. Unfortunately, the few that were left had dark plans. They worked out how to build a time machine and went back in time to scatter iPhones across the history of humanity, in the hope that they would eventually be marketed – the operation succeeded. Who knows whether the smartphones will rise again?

***

Sorry that this was a bit iPhone-centric: if you want to include other smartphones into the story, say that other people were also inspired by the falling smartphones, but came up with their own versions.

Also, sorry for not posting the bucket list yesterday: my computer had some weird condition and couldn’t go onto WordPress, so I wasn’t able to post (it’s fine now). It’ll appear sometime from this Monday to next Saturday at the latest. Apologies. :3 At least I finally posted about technology! This is my first techie post in something like three months, so yay! The next technology post I do will probably be a Tech Battle between iOs 6 and iOs 7 (I haven’t done that for so long that you probably don’t even remember what a Tech Battle is; check my About page).

Half-term ends tomorrow, so that’s quite annoying. But it’s been a good holiday, and next up is Christmas. :D I’ll try and keep the posts going, but they’ll probably become a bit less frequent again.

And on that note… Bye!

Joe.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “The Evolution of the Smartphone

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s