Short tales

  1. The sun blinds me as I come home in my parent’s car.
  2. People can smother me simply by putting their head on top of mine (don’t worry, it’s a friendly gesture).
  3. I can easily get to the front of a crowd because I have a valid excuse.
  4. It’s impossible to get to the front of a crowd.
  5. I get a strange kind of pleasure knowing that last year, I was the second shortest in my class, and this year, I’m the fifth (get in!).
  6. I have to ask my tall friends to put things on the top of a shelf.
  7. My feet are also petit. (Not obligatory, but very common in small people).
  8. I can be paired with people years younger than me. To clarify, this is *mostly* not because I’m the same height, but because I’m the closest fit.
  9. People can call me adorable. And they’re not even being sarcastic.
  10. Taller people occasionally crouch down to my height and say, “Everything’s so big from your perspective…”
  11. There is always someone to leap to my defence because I have sympathy points.
  12. When someone didn’t know my name, he called me ‘small boy’, and I called him ‘person’. We now know each other’s names, but we still call each other small boy and person.
  13. People think I’m younger than I am. Which is good… unless you’re still in school. It’s weird, we spend the whole of school hoping to look older and then we want to look younger again. :P
  14. It’s a massive deal when someone overestimates your age. In recent memory, this has happened once.
  15. I’m constantly measuring myself up against other small people to check if I’ve grown taller than them.
  16. When someone is blocking the stairway, I can pass through their arms (50% success rate).
  17. I know when I’m wearing someone else’s clothes because they swamp me.
  18. When someone tries to lift me up (after politely asking for permission), their first comment is always “Wow, so light…”
  19. Group hugs are a nightmare in disguise.
  20. Once, someone followed me around when we were returning to class, screaming “HEY SHORTY!” It doesn’t sound funny until I tell you he was a head shorter than me. XD

DISCLAIMER: All teasing shown in this list was friendly banter, and not malicious. Things in this list were all true stories.

I don’t know if you’ll sympathise with this list or not, even if you’re small; these are purely my experiences. Here’s hoping for a growth spurt. ;)

Joe.

Computers…

WARNING! THIS IS A RANT!

OK, I know that I’m meant to be doing Book Reviews: Part 2, but I feel this is slightly more pressing.

Recently I have been having a bit of trouble with computers. I am a (self-proclaimed) technophile, and so I *obviously* like technology and am pretty good at solving problems when they come up. When my parents don’t know how to send an attachment on their phones, I am like Fix-It Felix. Although admittedly, when I smashed their phones with a hammer, I don’t think that was what they had in mind.

A phone Fix-It Felix tried to fix. It didn’t work.

Anyhow, we’re doing some programming in school with Python, so I tried to download it at home. The download went smoothly enough, but then I tried to download an extra module, called Pygame, so that I could make more interesting programs. It’s on my bucket list to program my own game, so maybe I could make one by 2014. :D We’ll see.

Anyhow, the download process for Pygame was an absolute nightmare. First I tried downloading off of the official site, but even when I had downloaded it, nothing happened. I tried to delete the software and try again. And again. I did this for about half an hour before I started looking on the internet, but none of the forums could help. I started to sink into despair. I finally worked out how to download it after 1.5-2 hours, but it was still very annoying.

This does sound kind of ungrateful, and these problems are pretty insignificant when compared to someone else’s. Even though computers can really bug me (*facepalm*) they are useful stuff.

Hopefully you can sympathise with my problems here. :P Do you also have a love/hate relationship with technology? Or even a hate/hate relationship?

Joe. :)

 

OT: Karate

I started karate around four years ago. The annoying thing about karate is you can never boast. Not because it’s against the Big Book of Karate Rules (Section 24: Paragraph 3: Line 2 – The black belt shall pretend he is a white belt). It’s just that whenever I talk to someone who also does karate, they all happen to be child prodigies who were black belts at the age of nine. D:

I was recently talking to a guy who had also done karate, and feeling quite smug about the fact that I had been doing karate for four years. I mean, four years is quite a sizable portion of time, right? Then he casually mentioned he’d started doing karate at the age of four. It was certainly an arrow to the knee, or rather, a punch to the face.

I am now a brown belt, which is three belts below a black belt. Of course this will be different for different variations of karate (and from what I’ve heard, there are many, many different variations). I haven’t actually been to any competitions, and it’s on my bucket list to go to one, as well as to become a black belt.

One of the main reasons I do go to karate is because it is pretty much my only form of exercise.  I am, as I have stressed often above, very un-sporty, so going to karate twice a week keeps me… relatively fit. Ish. :P It’s also quite fun, although to a certain extent, I can’t say I look forward to it. Because… sport.

Karate has three parts – sparring, or kumite; basic techniques, or kihon; and katas. Kumite sounds like the part of karate where fists go flying, but it’s actually really controlled, and you only get to actually *fight* someone in the very high grades.

Kihon is quite boring, as you just show you can perform basic moves.

Therefore, the most interesting part of karate is probably the katas. Katas are like fights with one person, so they don’t really appear to make much sense and look more like dances than anything else, but when you see what applications they’re used for, they actually make sense. One of the interesting things about karate is that the katas seem to become less and less useful the higher you go up. This probably isn’t the case, as like I said, they all look weird until you see the application… but it sure seems like it.

Probably one of the weirdest katas is ‘Chintei’.

Chintei is the one you perform to make people laugh. It seems like quite a sensible kata until… you notice the bunny ears and those three hops at the end, which some people theorise is frolicking over the blood of your enemies. o_O It certainly makes you view it in a slightly different light.

Coming up: Book Reviews: Part 2

Have any of you guys tried a martial art? Or even sport in general?

Joe.

Book reviews: Part 1

It’s been a while since I wrote a book review. They were meant to become a regular thing, but they didn’t really turn out that way…. to make up for it, I’m going to do six reviews at once! I know right? It’s because I recently read a shed-load of books (most of them have been finished, others abandoned midway). I don’t really want to clog up your reader with book reviews, so I thought I’d split it into two parts. This is Part 1…

Also, spoilers are in white. Continue reading

OT: Favourite colours

This will be a quickie because it’s getting late, but better now than never. :P

If I’m honest I don’t find any colour prettier than another one – to me, they are all of equal… beauty? I don’t really know what word to use.

But I still have a favourite colour. How can this be? Well as a toddler, I was obsessed with sweeties, as many of you still are. My favourites were probably Skittles, because when I got them, I could stir them up with vanilla ice cream and the flavouring would rub off. You can make strawberry ice cream with a box of vanilla and some strawberry skittles. Seriously, it’s great fun, (and I would presume good on a budget). Bear in mind I haven’t done it for years, so it might not work anymore.

Nom nom nom

My favourite flavours were strawberry and blackberry, and it was from here that I got my favourite colours, red and purple. This stayed the same for a while until I was maybe 6.

Under peer pressure, I decided that purple was too girly a colour, and ditched it. Nooo! However now I prefer purple again. If I’m honest, I don’t think any of this is terribly important, so I haven’t really thought about this for a while. Besides, as you get older, people don’t tend to ask you your favourite colour. :(

What’s your favourite colour, and your reason for it being your favourite? Maybe you don’t have one?

Joe