Short tales

  1. The sun blinds me as I come home in my parent’s car.
  2. People can smother me simply by putting their head on top of mine (don’t worry, it’s a friendly gesture).
  3. I can easily get to the front of a crowd because I have a valid excuse.
  4. It’s impossible to get to the front of a crowd.
  5. I get a strange kind of pleasure knowing that last year, I was the second shortest in my class, and this year, I’m the fifth (get in!).
  6. I have to ask my tall friends to put things on the top of a shelf.
  7. My feet are also petit. (Not obligatory, but very common in small people).
  8. I can be paired with people years younger than me. To clarify, this is *mostly* not because I’m the same height, but because I’m the closest fit.
  9. People can call me adorable. And they’re not even being sarcastic.
  10. Taller people occasionally crouch down to my height and say, “Everything’s so big from your perspective…”
  11. There is always someone to leap to my defence because I have sympathy points.
  12. When someone didn’t know my name, he called me ‘small boy’, and I called him ‘person’. We now know each other’s names, but we still call each other small boy and person.
  13. People think I’m younger than I am. Which is good… unless you’re still in school. It’s weird, we spend the whole of school hoping to look older and then we want to look younger again. :P
  14. It’s a massive deal when someone overestimates your age. In recent memory, this has happened once.
  15. I’m constantly measuring myself up against other small people to check if I’ve grown taller than them.
  16. When someone is blocking the stairway, I can pass through their arms (50% success rate).
  17. I know when I’m wearing someone else’s clothes because they swamp me.
  18. When someone tries to lift me up (after politely asking for permission), their first comment is always “Wow, so light…”
  19. Group hugs are a nightmare in disguise.
  20. Once, someone followed me around when we were returning to class, screaming “HEY SHORTY!” It doesn’t sound funny until I tell you he was a head shorter than me. XD

DISCLAIMER: All teasing shown in this list was friendly banter, and not malicious. Things in this list were all true stories.

I don’t know if you’ll sympathise with this list or not, even if you’re small; these are purely my experiences. Here’s hoping for a growth spurt. ;)

Joe.

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7 thoughts on “Short tales

  1. I sympathize with you completely! I’m short, and I’ve been mistaken for being younger than I am countless times…no one’s EVER overestimated my age though. And just a couple of months ago, someone said to me, in a very matter-of-fact tone – “You haven’t hit your growth spurt yet, have you?”

  2. Pingback: Tales from the Library and Beyond « Funny for Nothing

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