DISCLAIMER: Being a psychiatrist or studying psychology in any way is a perfectly good choice. This post is simply why I would go slightly crazy if I was a psychiatrist and I was interviewing… myself.
Psychology is interesting but also extremely depressing (for me). Here’s why!
I can literally drive myself crazy thinking. It is one of the reasons that if I spend too much time alone I become slightly… unhinged. Well, more unhinged than I usually am. Add to this I spend most of my alone, and you have a potential crazy person roaming your streets… except I won’t be roaming your streets. I’ll be in my room, staring at my computer. While my solidarity means I go insane, it also means that I am unlikely to rampage – so there’s no need to worry. :P
One of the reasons that I go crazy whilst alone is that I psycho-analyse myself a lot. Like I said, psychology is interesting. But eventually, I always end up in some kind of existential stupor. A typical conversation goes like this (note this doesn’t happen out loud, just in my head – what am I, crazy?).
Me: Mmm. Shepherd’s Pie.
Me (psychiatrist): But why do you like Shepherd’s Pie so much?
Me: I don’t know. Who cares?
Me (psychiatrist): You. Me.
Me: Oh yeah.
Me (psychiatrist): So why?
Me: I don’t know… it’s tasty?
Me (psychiatrist): Is that all that things mean to you? Is surface value all you think about? What about those many hours spent eating baby food as a child? Aren’t all those days and months and years important to you? Why ascribe importance to some insignificant mix of mince and mash, and none to that stolid, humble baby food? What about nutritional value? I don’t see you gawking over some lettuce. No, you’re not concerned about your health, or sentimentality – just the taste.
Me (psychiatrist): Maybe we’re looking at this the wrong way. Maybe you’re not just shallow, perhaps you’re a hypocrite too. You think lambs are cute, yes? And potatoes – you like healthy, living potatoes as much as the next man, don’t you?
Me: Well I don’t have any grudges against them.
Me (psychiatrist): And yet you devour this Shepherd’s Pie like it burned down an orphanage for some Friday night fun!
Me: Well actually there was that incident some years back-
Me (psychiatrist): I don’t want to hear it.
And so it continues until I’m like:
Obviously I don’t cry myself to sleep over my eating habits, but you’d be surprised how trivial it gets. My conclusion: psychology is depressing. At least, for me it is. As I may have said, I think this habit came about because I want to be an author, and you have to think about character and all that stuff (pretty sure I’ve already said this, but who’s counting?). Why does my psycho-analysis always produce unflattering results? Well calling myself ‘bright, funny and friendly’ makes me sound like a narcissist. Which I may in fact be, as I spend an unhealthy portion of my time psycho-analysing myself. Huh.
Hopefully I can post a bit more now as it’s the Easter holidays. *yippee* More stuff coming soon!
P.S. Do you psycho-analyse yourself? Have long conversations in your head? Perhaps you burn down orphanages for Friday night fun? Tell me in the comments so I won’t feel lonely! Although if you have recently burned down an orphanage please hand yourself in to the police and don’t talk about it on the internet.
Also when I say that I go crazy when ‘alone’ I mean properly alone. If there is some sort of background noise of people living and doing people things (and in a family of six, there usually is) then I am a perfectly well balanced and non-crazy person. Maybe I’ve gotten so used to having lots of noise around me that when it’s silent I – oh no wait. I’m psycho-analysing again. *face palm*