Authoring

I feel like it should be spelled ‘authouring’. I’m just so used to changing ‘or’ to ‘our’ in words (all those pesky Americanisms). :P

Anyhow, I didn’t know what to write about today. I thought I was going to write about Eurovision, but it’s really been the same as usual. Britain stagnated in the middle of the leader board. There were some crazy set designs, Poland relied on their ‘natural beauty’ to win votes, and a drag act won. Nothing much different.

If you don’t know what Eurovision is, this sums it up quite nicely:

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Anyhow, today I’m going to talk about authoring. Or perhaps that should be writing. I don’t think I’ve earned the right to call myself an author yet, as I am not published. ;(

It’s quite sad what I’ve become. I’ve actually considered putting myself in a story, flaws and all, because I think that readers would sympathise with my complex, conflicting characteristics, my multi-faceted personality, and my general likeability. 

Scratch that, if I didn’t value my privacy (or plot for that matter) I would genuinely spill all about my life on some random website, because I think people would be very interested (even though nothing actually happens). And it would be very detailed. It would literally be a live stream of my thoughts in real time. I kind of want to write a diary, leave it in an attic, pass away, have it discovered by my great great grandchildren, get it published, and have everyone marvel at my angst.

The thing is that I haven’t actually written in my novel for around a month. SO WHY DO I KEEP NARRATING THINGS IN MY HEAD (no not in a schizophrenic way)?

I’ll just be walking around with this inner monologue running through my head.

Joe ambles into his kitchen and finds a small compartment filled with apples, oranges and other fruits. After pausing a while, he selects the apple he thinks is the shiniest. Unsatisfied, he wipes the apple against his shirt, but it’s missing that all important sparkle. Forlorn, he shuffles away, his quest for the shiniest apple forever unaccomplished.

It’s even worse when I’m speaking with someone. I end up thinking all the “he said”s and “she said”s as I’m speaking. It’s madness!

What I’m worried will happen is that I will accidentally say these things out loud.

“Oh hey Joe!”

“Hey Ieremias (thank you Random Name Generator), Joe said, wondering if he could punch him in the face without anyone noticing.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing, Joe said, trying to look innocent.”

Ieremias backs away slowly.

Help me… please.

Joe

P.S. I think it’s a week until this blog’s anniversary! Stay tuned. EDIT: Just realised I have 4000 views! Woo hoo! Hopefully more on this soon.

P.P.S. I’m still doing the schedule thing, but now I have more flexibility as to the days – as long as I blog three times a week, it’s all good. ;)

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8 thoughts on “Authoring

    • I didn’t want to use the name of a person I know just in case they read this blog – so I thought “name generator” and this is the result. :P The poor kid though.

    • Don’t worry, I’m not being serious. ;) I say pesky because often American programs like Word or even WordPress have an American spell check and you can’t always change it. But American English is find on its own. :P

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