A look at my search terms…

So I haven’t posted in a while. Mainly because I have been drained of ideas. So today I thought, hey, let’s look at my search terms! I had the idea a few weeks ago, and it seems fun, so let’s do it! :D Obviously I won’t go through all of them, merely some of the more interesting ones…

So my main search term is ‘computer’ with 143 views, all presumably leading to my ‘Computers vs TV’ post. Understandable.

The next most popular search terms are ‘angry meme’ and ‘ain’t nobody got time for dat’, with 31 and 12 views respectively. Annoyingly I consider this one of my worst posts, but that’s the way it goes. :\

Interestingly, there are no less than 17 different variations of the spelling of ‘ain’t nobody got time for dat’, so I thought I would try an in-depth analysis on all of them, as you do.

1. ain’t nobody got time for dat – This classic spelling appears at the top of the pile by a process of natural selection.
2. ain’t nobody got time fo dat – The second most common spelling, with 8 views, more accurately reflects the speech patterns of Sweet Brown.
3. aint nobody got time for dat – This spelling is a nightmare for apostrophe activists, but not quite as lazy as our next spelling.
4. aint nobody got time fo dat – Omitting letters, punctuation and common decency, this variant will leave grammar Nazis crying in despair.
5. ain’t nobody got time for that – This spelling is a refuge for those who cannot bear to spell ‘that’ incorrectly. After #4, my hope in humanity is restored.
6. ain’t nobody got time fo dat obama – A sharp and scintillating satire of Democratic politics in post-1950s America.
7. aint no body got time for dat – Because corpses ain’t got no more time for that.
8. ain’t nobody got time for you – Sad but true. :P
9. ain’t nobody got time for that meme – A very meta interpretation of the search term.
10. aint nobody for time for players meme – Child, the players change, but the game remains the same.
11. aint nobody got time fo dat obama – Some more, less politically correct analysis of North American presidents.
12. we aint got time fo dat – No we do not.
13. aint no body got time fo dat – Again, more corpse talk, or if the typist in question meant nobody, this could imply an incredibly liberal use of the space bar, suggesting the typist needs more space; this deep psychological need could trace back to childhood trauma at a very young age when his personal space was often invaded by his pet dog Rover while he was on the toilet… Sorry, where was I?
14. ain’t nobody got time for that! – Use of exclamation mark indicates… something. *shrugs*
15. no one got time for dat – Who are you to say this? Have you conducted a survey of everyone in your local area? In the 2011 census, was there a section that asked, “Have you got time for dat?” :P
16. memes i aint got time fa dat for facebook – The specialisation of the meme for social networking shows its evolution from simple utterance to internet legend.
17. aint nobody go time fo dat – The epitome of laziness, omitting even more letters than #4. Disgraceful.

This post got very long-winded, so I will quickly go through some of the more interesting search terms. A lot of these only got one view, explaining their strange nature.

1. house of elf in harry potter – While this would be a very interesting house, I’m not sure if five houses is as snazzy as four. Besides, imagine how jarring it would be? Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, House of Elf… There’s already a house that begins with ‘H’. No, we knew something that rolls off the tongue like, “Spewington” or “Dobby”. And if “Dobby” won the House Cup, they would have to have the option to get a lifetime’s supply of socks instead. <3
2. harry whittier frees dead animals – I was initially confused by this, but it turns out ‘Frees’ is the surname of Harry Whittier, not a verb. Although the dead animals bit seems a bit strange. I think this directs to my post on memes again, as I looked at lolcats and I may have mentioned him for his work on dressing up felines. Even still, I can’t get over how strange this sounds. XD
3. people assume friendly gestures – Maybe they’re trying to be friendly?
4. are there any typos in the scorch trials wiki – In all probability, yes. Sorry about that.
5. technophile zombie – I would say those zombies are the coolest. The other zombies salivate over brains, but these ones salivates over iOS 8. I know who I would rather hang out with.
6. freedom exam – Just in case you’ve lost your basic freedom principles. What would be tested is beyond me.
7. yo ll be an technophile – I’m not sure whether this is a misspelling of “yo, be a technophile”, “yolo, be a technophile”, or “you’ll be a technophile”. I’m clueless as to why you would have to say YOLO before being a technophile, but I guess it’s a very daredevil thing to do.
8. august 12 skyfall 2014 at night at the sky – Actually ‘Skyfall’ was released on 26 October 2012 in the UK. :3
9. write a story on i had forgotten to complete my mathswork and knew this was the day i would be punished – This is a very specific search term, with no less than 21 words. I’m not sure why he would want to write a story about this of his own accord, and it’s unlikely he was set this as schoolwork, so the logical conclusion was that he was being held for ransom by the mafia.

That’s all I have time for today (no meme references intended) so this ends the post. Do you have very strange search terms? If you want to do a post on this, I am calling this the ‘Search Term Tag’ just because.

Joe

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