Accidental sass

It’s one thing trying to be funny and failing. Some of my friends will testify in a brutally honest way that this happens far too often. You know who you are. ;)

Then there’s trying to be taken seriously and ending up being funny. This is the main source of my humour – and it generally stems from my innate awkwardness. My life reads like a slapstick comedy…

But there is another rare phenomenon that people tend to forget. This phenomenon is called… accidental sass.

This is when you mean to be completely sincere and serious and it ends up being so sarcastic and sassy that things get hysterical very very quickly.

For instance, when I was in my last year of primary school, my teacher was showing round a high up teacher from the local comprehensive. I was one of the only ones who wasn’t going – so just my luck…

My teacher came round and said something along the lines of, “This is Joseph. He likes books.” and all of a sudden this guy was waffling about how beautiful the library was at his school, and how there were enough novels to fill a classroom, and on and on for a minute, before my teacher said, “He’s not going.”

The guy laughed it off, but then in an attempt to salvage his dignity, he said, “Would you go if I paid you?”

This is one of those questions were there is no right answer. If I had said yes, what did that say about me? That I was willing to take a bribe? I should have answered, “Maybe.”, but the thought didn’t even occur to me.

So I said no.

The man started laughing. So did my teacher.

“Hahaha… haha…” I said, although I had no idea why I was meant to be laughing.

“He has a funny sense of humour.” my teacher said, and dragged the ambassador away before I could mess things up any further.

I stood there for a moment, bemused at what had happened. And then it hit me. I had basically said, “I wouldn’t go to your school even if you paid me.”. I probably came across as Sherlock or something.

There’s another incident I can remember. One of my classmates had forgotten his PE shorts and needed some spare. When he asked me if he could borrow mine, I paused, and then said quite sincerely, “Only if you wear underpants underneath.”

Why do I post this now? Because this happened again, recently… but that’s a story for another time. Or never. :P

Joe.

P.S. The revision is going OK. I’m doing a lot more than last year, but I seem to be scraping through. I’m not sure how my past self managed to blog so often. :P